Soupruary 16th: Breakfast Soup

Rise and shine!


I was talking to my friend Michael-from-Ireland this morning:

Michael: Pancakes and soup this evening?
me: Pancakes?
Michael: You don't do pancake Tuesday?
me: What exactly is pancake Tuesday?
Michael: It is the day before the beginning of Lent. Everyone eats pancakes in anticipation of 6 weeks of fasting.
me: Never heard of Pancake Tuesday!! Guess that's what I get for not being Catholic. Missing out on so many pancakes!

So I did some 5-second internet research and decided that this UK/Ireland/Canada/Australia tradition is one that should be adopted. I mean--pancakes, people! Pancakes! I know Shiv would be in favor of this for sure--too bad he ain't here!

There's one other thing I know: I've never had good luck with making pancakes from scratch. In fact I've only tried twice, and both times have been like BLECH SOMEBODY BUY ME SOME BISQUICK. Sad but true: I have not been sprinkled with powdered-sugar dust by the pancake fairy (let's call her Queen Syropa Jemima--pretty, right?).

Then Michael informed me that Pancake Tuesday does not involve our pedestrian, fat, fluffy pancakes--Instead it is traditional to eat the more sophisticated crepe. Well, double-sign me up! Not only are crepes DELECTABLE, but this is an even better excuse to not make the pancakes myself, as I can see It's Just Crepes from my apartment window. And, ya know? Sometimes I want to make soup and not worry about the rest. Besides, as Jeff and Julie are always ready to remind me, "It's just crepes, geeeeez."


So, thank you, Michael: All this inspired me to prepare the ever-popular breakfast-for-dinner, this time in soup form. In appreciation of you taking time out from being Very Busy and Important just to enlighten me, here's a rehashed cheek kiss from six years ago:

Breakfast soup may sound odd, but it's not unprecedented--I found two bacon and egg soup recipes on the Internet. However, since I happen to think veggie sausage (yum!) is much preferable to facon (ooo, bacon-printed cardboard, just what I wanted!), I decided to do my own thang. I was tempted to do another poached egg on top instead of egg-drop style, but that's a slippery slope. If I let myself do that today, there's no stopping me from putting poached eggs on top of everything through February 28th. Self-control!

Basically, what follows is my idea of a delicious omelette and hashbrown breakfast...soup. It genuinely tasted like morning, and not just because I ate it out of my favorite breakfast bowl (snagged at a sidewalk sale in Paris):


I think a big part of the experience was trusting myself to go off completely on my own, believing it would taste how I wanted it to, and then succeeding. If you don't try this Breakfast Soup, do yourself a favor and make up your own!


1 or 2 tablespoons of butter (1 if your pot will let you get away with it; 2 if it starts getting too dried out)
1 shallot, finely chopped
2 cloves garlic, finely chopped
1/2 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes
1 cup diced mushrooms
4 vegetarian breakfast sausage patties, chopped into bite-sized chunks--or real sausage I suppose, in which case you should probably axe the butter and just throw the sausage in first, using what comes out of the sausage as your fat.
5 cups vegetable broth
2 cups shredded potatoes
4 eggs, beaten well
a bit of fresh torn basil
a bit of grated Parmigiano-Reggiano, to serve
Sriracha sauce to taste, if desired

Melt butter over medium-low heat in your soup pot, then add shallot, garlic, red pepper flakes, and some freshly ground pepper and cook for about 5 minutes.

Increase heat to medium, then add mushrooms and veggie sausage. Cook, stirring, until the mushrooms have a good color and texture--about 8 to 10 minutes.

Add vegetable broth and shredded potatoes and bring the soup to a simmer. Simmer about 10 minutes, or until potatoes are cooked through.

Keeping a steady simmer and keeping the soup continuously swirling with a spoon, pour your beaten eggs into the soup in a slow, steady stream. The egg should cook up almost instantly into long rags and smaller bits of scramble--it tastes the same either way, the rags just look prettier.

Add the basil and give it a stir. Serve topped with Parmigiano-Reggiano and as much Sriracha as you'd like, or just serve it plain:


Good morning!

Soupruary 15th: Pasta e Ceci

Don't go out in that great white mess! Stay in and eat soup!


Cincinnati was treated to about 7 inches of snow today, which isn't quite apparent in the view from my window, but which I assure you is just as pretty and welcome as it is dirty and inconvenient.


This is exactly the kind of thing I'll call upon next time I'm snowed in. It's not as mouthwatering as last week's chickpea soup, but it has the bonus that you can probably throw together a version of it from the pantry with no need to leave your abode.


Even if you're not snowed in, though, this makes a great weeknight soup. I can see it being delicious if you leave it brothy as well, like so:


But the thick texture you get from blending the soup with half the chickpeas does give you a very satisfying mouthful. And seriously, y'all: I was so not going to the store.

To make this, I read recipes by Jamie Oliver, Giada De Laurentiis, Mario Batali and a few bloggers, then did what I felt like doing with what I had.

1 tablespoon olive oil
1 tablespoon butter
2 shallots, peeled and chopped
1 rib of celery, chopped
4 cloves of garlic, peeled and chopped
1/2 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes
1/2 teaspoon dried rosemary (or 1 teaspoon fresh--I only had dried)
1 teaspoon fresh thyme
2 14.5 oz cans of chickpeas, drained and rinsed
1 14.5 oz can of diced tomatoes
3 cups vegetable broth
1/2 cup small dried pasta shapes (I used mini-wheels because I had them, but it seems the traditional pasta is ditalini)
1 2-inch piece of Parmesan rind
a bit of fresh julienned basil

Heat the oil and melt the butter over low heat in a pot with a lid. Add shallots, celery, galic, pepper flakes, rosemary and thyme--stir, then cover and cook on low for about 10 minutes.

Add chickpeas, tomatoes and juice, Parmesan rind and vegetable broth, and increase heat to bring the soup to a boil. Reduce heat, cover and let simmer for 30 minutes.

Meanwhile, bring a pot of salted water to boil and add pasta. Cook according to package directions until just al dente, then drain and shock with cold water to stop cooking.

Remove the Parmesan rind from the soup and discard. Using a slotted spoon, transfer about half of the chickpeas to a bowl and reserve. Use an immersion blender to blend the rest of the soup, adding a bit more water if needed for the right consistency.

Add reserved chickpeas and pasta to the soup, and season with salt and pepper. Sprinkle bowls with basil to serve, if desired.

Soupentine's Day: Roasted Red Pepper Bisque

A hooperu for the ages!


I just realized I didn't even take a picture of the soup, so I'll describe it: It's an orangey-pinky-red, smooth, sprinkled with basil and hiding some fun little surprises just under the surface.

Location:
My apartment

Attendees:
Amber VALENTINE (so appropriate it couldn't be ignored), Tiffany, Kelly, Matt, Janice, Jeff, Julie, Josh, me


Oh, and Wil Wheaton, in spirit if not in physical presence


Menu:
Cheeses and crackers
Green salad
Citrus, feta and mint salad
Roasted Red Pepper Bisque
Red velvet cake (made by Tiffany)
Mimosas (and one mibowlsa)


Entertainment:
Gotta admit, the fun of the day more than slightly eclipsed the soup of the day. If everyone celebrated Valentine's Day like this, I think there would be significantly fewer complaints about how it's a Hallmark Holiday and such.

The party started off with a bang, fairly literally. Jeff managed to pop a champagne cork in the exact trajectory needed to accomplish this:


To quote Ron Burgundy: "Heck, I'm not even mad; that's amazing!"

The rest of the day included a good deal of laughing-till-we-cry while playing Catchphrase, the most interesting manner of cutting a cake I've ever seen, leading to something of a caketastrophe (while still leaving the cake both edible and incredible),


some disenchanted hipster snow angels,


and an impromptu rooftop snowball fight that devolved our entire mastery of the English language into fits of giggles, with photos below captured marvelously by Tiffany.

Look, ma! No gloves!

The Soup:
This was a nice soup that seemed Valentinesy enough, even though I didn't get to the heart-shaped croutons I meant to have time for. I think it'd be better as a starter than a meal, but the flavor was strong and winning, and there were certainly smiles punctuating the talk of friendlyfish.

I doubled this guy to make enough for all the revelers, and it worked out pretty well. I also adapted it to be serviceable for shrimp-eaters and non shrimp-eaters alike, so both serving instructions are included below.

Roasted Red Bell Pepper Bisque with Shrimp and Romano Cheese
Adapted from Bon Apetit, March 2000

5 large red bell peppers
3 1/2 cups vegetable broth
1 teaspoon paprika
1 teaspoon sugar
3/4 cup whipping cream
1/2 cup grated pecorino Romano cheese
3 tablespoons julienned basil

For serving shrimpies:
1 tablespoon olive oil
16 large uncooked shrimp, peeled, deveined, and chopped in roughly thirds

For serving non-shrimpies:
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 additional red bell pepper

Broil red bell peppers until blackened on all sides. Enclose in paper bag and let stand 10 minutes. Peel and seed peppers. Cut 1 pepper into matchstick-size strips and set aside. Coarsely chop remaining 4 peppers. Combine chopped peppers and broth in heavy large saucepan. Bring to boil; reduce heat and simmer until peppers are very tender, about 5 minutes. Puree soup until very smooth with an immersion blender, then mix in paprika and sugar. Simmer 5 minutes to blend flavors. Whisk in cream and pecorino Romano cheese. Season to taste with salt and pepper--I only added salt.

For shrimpies:
Heat 1 tablespoon oil in medium skillet over medium-high heat. Add reserved bell pepper strips and shrimp and sauté until shrimp are cooked through, about 3 minutes. Season with salt and pepper. Divide shrimp mixture among 4 bowls.

For non-shrimpies:
Slice raw red bell pepper into long strips. Heat 1 tablespoon oil in medium skillet over medium-high heat. Add reserved roasted bell pepper strips and raw bell pepper and sauté about 3 minutes. Season with salt and pepper. Divide mixture among 4 bowls.

Ladle soup over shrimp or pepper mixture. Sprinkle basil over and serve.

Soupruary 13th: Vegetable Barley with Poached Egg

I'm becoming a little obsessed with putting eggs on top of things. Next up: Eggpaulets on all my jackets!


Location:
My apartment

Attendees:
Aron, Janice, Joshua, me

Menu:
Gouda and crackers
Spinach and apple salad
Vegetable barley soup with poached egg

Entertainment:
Musical bottle of wine! This bottle made it through three Soupruary nights--originating with Janice, then travelling to Aron's, then back to my place--without being opened. Impressive.


The Soup:
Janice and I both worked all day today, from 7 a.m.!, so I was a little frazzled as I rushed to the grocery store and then home to soup it up. But every time I stress and think "What am I doing?"--I'm rewarded with a bowl of deliciousness and satisfaction, and I remember everything will always be alright.


Aron says this was his favorite Soupruary soup that he's tasted. We were all really full the rest of the night (which included Julie Hill's fabulous opening at Fabricate and an after party at Mayday)--this is the definition of one pot meal. Unless you count the pot you poach the eggs in. Darn it. We didn't really need crackers and cheese and salad--this soup was enough on its own.

I loved the chewy texture of the barley and mushrooms, the fun and fortified flavor of fire-roasted tomatoes, and the joy of poking the yolk of the poached egg and watching the bright orange mingle with with the reds and deep greens already present.

This soup has my seal of mega-approval.

Adapted from Gourmet, November 2007

1/2 a large onion, chopped
4 garlic cloves, chopped
2 tablespoons olive oil
8 ounces fresh shiitake mushrooms
2 teaspoons chopped thyme
2 (14 1/2-ounce) cans diced fire-roasted tomatoes
2 quarts vegetable broth
1 1/2 cups pearled barley
8 ounces baby spinach
1 tablespoon distilled white vinegar
Large eggs--1 for each person you're serving
Grated Parmigiano Reggiano

Heat oil in your soup pot over medium, then cook onion and garlic with 1/2 teaspoon salt, stirring occasionally, for about 10 minutes.

Meanwhile, discard the shiitake stems and thinly slice the capscrosswise. Add mushrooms and thyme to onion and cook, stirring occasionally, about 5 minutes. Stir in tomatoes with their juice, stock, barley, and salt and pepper to taste and simmer briskly, partially covered, stirring occasionally, until barley is tender, about 40 minutes. Stir in spinach and cook 1 minute, then check again for seasoning.

For eggs: Bring 2 quarts water to a simmer with vinegar and 1 tablespoon salt in a wide medium saucepan.

Break eggs into separate cups. Slide each egg into the water separately, spacing evenly. Poach at a bare simmer until whites are firm and yolks are still runny, 2 to 3 minutes. Transfer to paper towels using a slotted spoon.

To serve: Ladle your soup into bowls and top each with a poached egg and grated Parmigiano Reggiano. MMMmmmmMMMMM.

Soupruary 12th: Hot & Sour

They say if you love something let it go / If it comes back it's yours / That's how you know / It's for keeps, yeah, it's for sure.


Yes, those are Christina Aguilera lyrics (and no, I totally didn't learn the entire dance from the video in high school).

So yeah, the point of all that was: I LET SOMEONE ELSE COOK. I wrote the rules; I can break 'em.

Location:
Aron's apartment


Attendees:
Aron, Jeff, Julie, Janice, Josh, Jess, Karen, Mark, Liz, Rich, me


Menu (drafted by Aron):
Hot and Sour Soup
Sho Chiku Bai sake (unfiltered and sweet to offset the hot and sour)
Edamame
Vegetable Egg Rolls with Honey Mustard
Chinese Steamed Buns with Custard and Bean Filling
Green Tea Ice Cream
Ginger Szechuan Ice Cream from Bon Appetit, July 1987 (courtesy of Aron's grandma's recipe-clipping habit)
Fortune cookies

Entertainment:
2010 Winter Olympics Opening Ceremonies
Learning that Shania Twain's real name is Eilleen Regina Edwards
Chewing on Szechuan peppercorns simmered in milk--makes your mouth tingly!

The Soup:
I have to be honest: I was a little sad today when I realized I was painting my nails instead of making soup. For one thing, I'm no good at painting my nails, so that's a joyless venture. For another, I was giving up a little control.

But guess what! Turns out that's a good thing. I got a night off, and we all ate delicious soup anyway!

Aron has an amazing collection of vintage soup bowls from his grandmother. Mine said "Borrrrrrrsssssscccccttttttt" on it (not sure about the number of consonants there, but it was something like that):


The soup was really filling (although I admit I went back for a few extra bites because it was just such a nice taste)--Lots of protein and just the right amount of sour. There were expressions of Yum coming from every mouth in the room.

I'm always worried when I try Asian recipes, as I feel I won't be able to make them taste as good as they do at a restaurant. But Aron went all out with authentic ingredients, a good recipe, and his own intuition and made a darn delicious pot of soup. Maybe next time I'll be brave enough to do the same! Thanks for the inspiration, Aron (and the full stomach).


Here it is, as written by Aron:
Adapted from the Help! My Apartment Has A Kitchen Cook Book

The cookbook version serves 4 as a meal (6 as an appetizer), so I roughly tripled the liquids and doubled the hard ingredients to serve 12.

8 Shitake Mushrooms
4 Green Onions
2 10.5oz cans of chicken broth (or vegetable broth)
2 Can fulls of water
1 8oz can of bamboo shoots, drained
1 14oz package of firm tofu, drained
¼ Cup rice vinegar
2 Tablespoons soy sauce
2 Tablespoons cornstarch or ¼ cup flour
¼ Cup cold water
2 Eggs
1 Sheet of Nori (seaweed sushi wrapping) cut into strips

Optional:
1 Handful of “black white fungus” strips from the Asian grocery
1 Handful dried lily buds
Sriracha Hot Sauce to taste

Wash the green onions and cut off and discard the root tips and the top 2 inches of the green ends. Cut the remaining part in ¼ inch pieces and set aside.

Wash the fresh mushrooms and cut off the bottom ¼ inch of the stems. Slice the mushrooms thin and set aside. Cut the bamboo shoot strips into 1/8 strips.

If you’re using them, soak the dried lily buds, and dried black white fungus strips in warm water for 20 minutes. Do the same with the mushrooms if you’re using dried shitakes. Discard the water and separate the lily buds into thinner strips.

Heat the broth and water in a large pot over high heat. When it comes to a boil, add the mushrooms, bamboo shoots, lily buds, and black white fungus. Turn down to a medium heat and cook uncovered for 5 minutes.

The recipe says to save the eggs for the end, but I think they’d probably work better when the soup is thinner and hot without lots of stuff in it yet. I added them at the end, so this is your call to try my new recommendation or not. Beat the eggs in a bowl. Pour the beaten eggs slowly through the tines of a fork into the soup. The tines help separate the eggs so they cook in thin strands instead of clumps. This is where I think more heat is good too.

While the soups cooks, cut the tofu into half in cubes. Add the tofu, nori strips, vinegar, and soy sauce to the soup. Stir and cook for another 5 minutes.

Mix the cold water into the cornstarch in small bowl until it becomes a thick paste. Add it to the soup and stir until the mixture boils and thickens slightly.

If desired, add in Sriracha and add more soy sauce and vinegar to taste.

Serve in bowls and garnish with the green onions.


As a bonus, here is the ice cream recipe, since everyone seemed to like it.

Ginger Szechuan Ice Cream
Bon Appétit Magazine, July 1987

Makes about 1 Quart

¼ Cup Szechuan peppercorns (also called prickly ash) available at Asian groceries
2½ Cups half and half
1 Cup water
¾ Cup sugar
½ Cup fresh peeled ginger cut into ¼ inch cubes (about 3 ounces)
8 Egg Yolks
1 Teaspoon Vanilla
1 Pinch of salt
½ Cup whipping cream

Toast the Szechuan peppercorns (Wikipedia says they are actually a seed from a berry) in a small skillet over medium low heat until aromatic, stirring occasionally, about 4 minutes. The peppercorns are pretty aromatic as soon as they come out of the bag, so it’s a good thing they give a time suggestion. Transfer the peppercorns to a bowl.

“Scald” the half and half in a heavy large saucepan over medium heat. The internets say that “scalding” is an out of fashion cooking term, but basically means heating milk shy of boiling and stirring to make sure it doesn’t burn. Add the peppercorns to the milk and let it cool.

Cook the water, sugar, and ginger in a medium saucepan over low heat, swirling the pan occasionally until the sugar dissolves. Increase the heat until the ginger is tender, about 20 minutes. From my experience, the ginger stayed a little chewy, but that just added some good texture.

Use a strainer to remove the peppercorns from the half and half mixture. Side note: This is the point where you can chew on half a dozen or a dozen of the peppercorns and then spit them out. They make your mouth, lips, and tongue, turn numb for 5 or 10 minutes.

Add the ginger and syrup to the strained half and half. Bring to a simmer over medium heat. Whisk yolks, vanilla, and salt in a medium-large bowl. Gradually whisk the hot half and half mixture into the eggs. Return the mixture to the saucepan and stir over a medium-low heat until the mixture starts to thicken, about 10 minutes. Do not boil the mixture. Remove from heat and whisk in the cream. Bon Appétit says you should strain the mixture now. I strained the peppercorns out early and didn’t strain here. That meant the ginger cubes stayed in to give the ice cream some extra texture.

Refrigerate the mix until it’s well cooled. Transfer it into your ice cream maker, following the instructions from the machine. Freeze overnight in a covered container.

Soupruary 11th: Butternut Squash with Pears and Ginger

It was ginger night, and not a redhead in sight! A travesty!


Location:
My apartment, which smelled so good I was tempted to lick the walls.

Attendees:
Charlie, Joshua, Me


Menu:
Ginger fried rice
Butternut squash soup with pears and ginger


Entertainment:
Television! Live! In my apartment! First time ever! Exclamation point!

The Soup:
I feel like that French figure-skating judge or something. Nothing I say about the soup should be trusted because I've been bought and paid for by the rice.

But oh, that rice. In case you didn't click on it above, here's a second chance. And a third. It might be my new favorite food. I don't often repeat recipes, but this one is going into regular rotation. RICE.

Ok, ok...this blog is about soup. It was totally fine. Not earth-shattering, not as exotic as it sounds--I think it needs more ginger and more texture. The recipe called it a chowder, but to me a chowder needs to be chunky--I don't think it should be all smoothified.


OH, GEEZ. Just realized I was only supposed to puree half the soup. Now I feel like I did it a serious injustice (and I like I need to dust off my reading comprehension skillz).


After all, it was a nice mix of sweet and tangy, and the pears were crisp and lovely. Whatever. Did you make that rice yet?

Adapted from Stephen Pyles' Southwestern Vegetarian

2 Bosc pears, peeled, cored, and diced
Juice of 2 lemons
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 cup peeled and diced Vidalia or Spanish onion
1 rib of celery, diced
1 small carrot, peeled and diced
1 tablespoon minced garlic
1 teaspoon peeled minced fresh ginger
1/2 cup dry white wine
2 small butternut squash, peeled, seeded, and diced (about 3 cups)
1 Yukon Gold potato, diced
5 cups vegetable broth
1/4 cup orange juice
Juice of half a lemon
1/2 cup heavy cream

In a small bowl, cover the pears with the lemon juice. If the lemon juice doesn't quite reach, add enough water to fully cover. Set the bowl aside.

Heat the oil over high heat in your soup pot. Add onion, celery, and carrot, and sauté for 2 to 3 minutes. Add garlic and ginger and sauté for 1 minute, stirring. Add white wine and cook for 3 minutes, or until the wine has mostly disappeared.

Drain half of the pears, and set the other half aside. Add the drained pears to the pan with squash, potato, and broth and bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer for 30 minutes, or until the squash is tender. Use an immersion blender to puree HALF THE SOUP UNLESS YOU'RE CORRIE AND YOU DON'T LIKE TO READ PROPERLY. Add orange juice, lemon juice, cream and reserved pears until it reaches a nice temperature (not boiling).

Soupruary 10th: Chickpea and Leek

Oh, boy, has it been a week, and we're only at the halfway point. Ended up staying late at work and changing the soup plan (switching today's for tomorrow's) because I was tired and stressed and cranky. Thankfully, being in my tiny kitchen always makes me feel better, no matter the day I've had.

The other thing that always makes me feel better? Jamie Oliver. He never disappoints. And with this soup it was as though he knew precisely how I think food should taste.


It was so good. It was so, so good. I know you're reading that it's chickpea and leek and thinking Uhhhh...chickpea and leek? That is either weird, or boring. Also if you switch the vowels around it's "pee" and "leak" and that's just disgusting. (Wow, sorry about that. My mind is shot (see: stress, work).)

Back on track: THIS SOUP IS DELICIOUS. It was so delicious that I had this war going on between my mouth and my brain.

Brain: Eat it supersuperfast because it's so good and you don't want any soup thieves to take it away from you!
Mouth: No, you don't understand! It's so good that I literally cannot chew quickly because I want to taste that forever and always!
Brain: But the thieves!
Mouth: Yeah, I KNOW. But srsly, if they stole that they'd probably see the light, repent, and turn from their sordid lives of soup-stealing!

It went on like that for a while.


This is my favorite soup of the year so far, and Josh liked it too. I usually don't change Jamie's recipes at all, but that whole being late coming home from work thing meant that I majorly did not want to go to the store, and thus necessitated I sub extra sharp aged white Cheddar (which I had) for his recommended Parmesan (which I didn't). The Cheddar had a nice bite and saltiness, plus a bit of nuttiness, although admittedly not as much as the Parm would've. Still--if you haven't noticed--this soup was awesome. I served it with a little rainbow slaw, but I would've eaten it all on its own. I realize I haven't described the taste at all, and I just keep saying how awesome it is, but that's just because I was way too happy to be eating it to worry about describing it.


Also: Dangerously quick, cheap, and easy. The most strenuous part was washing the leek rings, and all that takes is water and a colander.

One more thing: Thanks to Josh for taking iPhone pictures since I left my camera at Kendall's last night!

Adapted from Jamie Oliver's The Naked Chef

2 tablespoons unsalted butter
1 dash of olive oil
3 garlic cloves, thinly sliced
4 leeks, white and light green parts sliced into rings and thoroughly rinsed
1 14-oz can chickpeas, drained and rinsed
4 cups vegetable broth, separated
1/4 cup grated sharp white Cheddar (or 1/2 cup grated Parmesan--Jamie's way)

Heat olive oil and butter in pot over medium heat until butter is melted, then add garlic and cook until fragrant. Add leeks and cook until soft and even more beautiful, about 10 minutes.

Add chickpeas and 2 cups vegetable broth. Using an immersion blender, puree about half the soup, leaving it chunky but thick (or remove about half and puree it in a regular blender).

Add remaining broth and bring to a boil. Add cheese, reduce heat, and simmer 15 to 20 minutes. Season with salt and pepper to taste (I only needed to add pepper, no salt), and serve with additional grated cheese if desired (I did not desire).