Casey wears some hats, y'all: confidant, style icon, podcaster, One Direction sherpa, adorable car driver, realtor, Tig Notaro enthusiast, dance partner, expert texter, all-around hilarious and beautiful human/babe, etc. If I were casting the role of Casey in her biopic, I'd cast Casey - she's just that good. If you aren't a person who already knows/loves her, get ready to! When she sent me this guest post and I read, like, the first two paragraphs, I declared myself retired and begged her to take over full-time.
Without further ado, mushroom bisque a la America's Test Kitchen, as prepared and reviewed by the inimitable Casey Arnold, with photos by Brian Cross:
I'm really not the type to make a home cooked meal for myself very often. I admit it. I'm usually just cooking for myself, it takes a lot of time and patience and it's just easier to snack my way through dinner than to make a real meal. Oh, also, I'm lazy.
I like to think I know stuff about cooking, though. I watch cooking shows most nights in bed. When I do I make something, it's usually somewhat complex or at least time consuming because I want to really get in there and MAKE food. Put my little baby hands in a bowl of something and get to know it, ya' know? I'll bake pies from scratch around the holidays or bake and decorate cookies for hours. Bake cakes for birthdays. Baking is science. It's precise. If you follow the directions, you'll be aight.
And so it seems that whenever I want to make something that isn't a baked good, I turn to my favorite midnight cooking lullaby, America's Test Kitchen, for the recipe. They test stuff. Almost like baking
science. Plus, I'm stubborn, I don't like to be told what to do any time ever. And cooking gives choices.
No, I will not add white pepper. I want to add black pepper. Eff you, recipe. Let me live my life. And that freedom cannot be trusted in my occasionally incapable hands. Despite your white cisgendered male-hood, Christopher Kimball, I trust you. (only kidding, hi white cis males!) I will follow yourmrecipe to the t. I will follow your tiny red bow tie into the depths of your quaint country home in Vermont, or whatever.
When it's cold as hell outside and my car is covered in salt and I'm seasonally affected as hell, I might be inclined to make a soup. Today I felt like making a good mushroom soup because I refuse to eat canned literal garbage.
I was an obnoxiously picky (see: stubborn) kid growing up. I lived on chicken nuggets and cheese and bagels and pizza and didn't like to try new things. Dad was real into mushrooms, though. His favorite thing that my mom cooked was beef stroganoff with lots of mushrooms from a jar. Hi mom. Use real mushrooms. Love you. When we ate out, it was Philly cheesesteaks with mushrooms or Mushrooms Chicken and Mushrooms from TGI Friday's. A dish no longer on the menu and I still don't know what it is. A chicken so nice they 'shroomed it twice, I guess. But I refused. Hold the mushrooms for me. Weird slimy little things.
When I grew up and had a choice, I snuck one from the jar beside Mom's pan of simmering beef goo. And then maybe another. Tried one of Dad's stuffed mushrooms. They weren't so bad. I started to want them on everything. With everything. Times came where I would just saute a bunch of mushrooms and eat them as if it were a viable meal. I'm on board now. I went over board. I'm not sure where or what this board is or what is going on but I like mushrooms now, guys.
So now, when I want mushroom soup, I don't want some weak ass gritty cream of mushroom. I don't want a clear broth with a flavor vaguely reminiscent of the fungus I so love. I want it to be mushroomy as hell.
I consulted my dude, Kimball, who came through with what looked to be a dope-ass mushroom bisque. A pretty simple and straight-forward recipe that promised maximum mushroom flavor.
I made this recipe basically exactly as suggested. I had to microwave the mushrooms a little longer because of my Orange Microwave of Broken Dreams. I bought it when I was 18ish because a friend
and I were going to get an apartment together. That fell through and I ended up moving in with my now ex-husband and that cool looking square microwave sat in my parents basement for many many years until I broke free and so did it. It is terrible at doing its one job, which is microwaving. But I digress. I had to microwave the mushrooms a little longer, guys. Other than that, I used vegetarian chicken broth because dead animals make me sad and I substituted a white onion for a regular ole yellow one. They're less sweet and it's just my preference. Don't tell me what onions to use. Also, I sure as hell used black pepper. It didn't even call for white, but I know they were thinking it.
It took me about 2 hours to make it. Which seemed like 2 hours too long. I followed the directions exactly, mostly did not spray hot soup out of the blender, and I did not sever any digits. It turned out to be a pretty perfect soup. XTREME mushroom flavor, velvety, it hit the spot. It wasn't trying to be anything it wasn't. Straight-forward good soup with just a hint of thyme and onion flavor. The one
regret I have is that I didn't save a handful of chopped cooked mushrooms for garnish at the end for that satisfying mushroom bite. Next time.
DAT RECIPE DOE.
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Thanks, Casey! You're the best (insert emoji with heart eyes)!
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