Avocado Broccoli Soup with Kale Chips and Pistachios

As there are for all thirty-smuhuhhhn-year-olds, I assume, there are days when I feel like I've done nothing with my years on earth. Like I wasted too much time not knowing who I was or what I wanted.

But then a friend will be compelled to send me a bit of ephemera related to soup or green vegetables, and I realize maybe I've known who I was and what I wanted all along. And when a friend sends me a recipe that involves soup AND green vegetables, well, darling...

I feel seen.

Valerie sent this recipe my way and made my day - and I knew I wanted to get this into the adorable soup bowls she gave us for our housewarming ASAP (see above adorable evidence). Avocado, broccoli, kale and pistachios? That's four greens, for not much green!

I put my own spin on the recipe by using fresh ingredients instead of frozen and making my own kale chips, but the spirit of it was all there in the original. I mean, mine is also cuter, but I could never mention that and risk hurting Kroger Magazine's feelings. 

And now let's talk turkey Tofurkey: lot's of greens, yes, but was it good? Yes, actually, thanks for asking. The first bite will have you doing a bit of a Thinking Face emoji as you try to figure out exactly what this flavor is and why it's so different. The weird thing: cooked avocado is not the creamy cool situation you're used to paying extra for. It's punchy and tangy and exciting, still silky, but somehow sheds its creaminess. Right after your first bite, though, your mouth will literally start watering and compelling you to the next and the next until you're licking the bowl. There's some sort of autonomic reaction triggered by hot avocado that will put your mouth on a mission for more.

I'm Gertie and I approve this avocado.

Check yourself a little in your soup pursuit (pursoup?) though — apparently hot avocado is not only addictive, it also comes with supernatural heat insulation properties. This puppy gets hot and stays hot; i.e., it's the J-Lo of the produce section. I'm gonna learn how to preserve avocados so I can make them into clothes during the next ice age or whatever. P.s. Shark Tank here I come.

This isn't my first hotvocado rodeo, believe it or not, but it's my first that I'd deem a modest success. Adam went back for seconds, and I now have a really positive sense memory of that tasty tang. It wasn't as popular with the entire household, and may or may not have been referred to as a "vegetarian smoothie" by one unhappy customer — but to that I say a) sounds great and b) where are you getting all of these meat smoothies, young man?

If a vegetarian smoothie is up your alley, too, put this down your gullet. You will get a new taste sensation out of it, and in my book* that's always worth while.

Pro tip: Make extra kale chips. More healthy snacks is a lifestyle and I'm LIVING.

*set to release February 30th of the year twenty-twenty-none.

Avocado Broccoli Soup
serves 4
Adapted from Kroger Magazine
Recipe suggested by my friends Val and Mike

Ingredients

a few splashes of olive oil

½ bunch of curly kale, thick center ribs discarded and leaves torn into ~2-inch pieces

½ cup diced white onion

1 large garlic clove or 2 small, roughly chopped

4 cups vegetable broth

1 lb broccoli, crown chopped into florets and thick stem peeled and chopped

2 ripe avocados

½ cup roughly chopped roasted pistachios (I used the lightly salted variety)

Method

Preheat oven to 450 degrees F and make a half-second splash of olive oil on a large, rimmed baking sheet. Dip your fingers into the olive oil and massage it into each piece of kale, watching the dull dark green turn shiny and brighter. No need to oversaturate – you don’t need an oil slick, just a whisper of a coating. Once all the leaves are feeling good and relaxed, sprinkle with a pinch of sea salt and toss on the baking sheet. 

Separate the leaves into one layer and bake until crispy and starting to brown (you still want mostly green), then remove to a rack to keep crisping as they cool. Our oven is a little wonky, but it took about 9 minutes to get mine where I wanted them.

While the kale chips are in the oven, get started on the soup. Place your soup pot over medium heat and add a healthier splash of olive oil – 1 to 2 second splash this time. When shimmering, add onions and garlic and season with a pinch of salt and a few good grinds of black pepper. Cook, stirring occasionally, until softened but not browned – about 5 minutes. 

Add vegetable broth and broccoli and turn the heat up until you get a nice steady simmer. Cook until broccoli is a darkening bright green and just past tender. Take off heat, add avocado and use an immersion blender to puree until smooth.

Serve immediately garnished with kale chips and pistachios, then just wait and see how much you enjoy that second bite.

Bonus bowl!